Leuko Logbook: Less Tongue, More Hope

I hoped my 3 year struggle with leukoplakia was near an end as my second tongue surgery began. Painful lesions had diminished my quality of life since a Covid infection. My spirituality had been important in the journey and now was under a test again. Would the mercies of God carry me through? This episode continues the story I’ve told in three other segments of the show. I describe what happened and the divine work which I experienced. I hope this final update of my Leuko Logbook will be of interest and even inspiration.  

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Transcript

I once participated in a team-building Trust exercise. I stood on an elevated platform with six co-workers beside it. I was instructed to turn my back toward them and fall backward so they could catch me. These folks were just normal people, not weightlifters or licensed body catchers. It was all about trusting the group to catch me before I smacked the ground, right? 

I felt a similar trust when I rolled into the operating room at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center April 29, 2025, for my second surgery to deal with leukoplakia, the pre-cancerous growth on my tongue. 

I’m Larry Payne, your host of TFJ a network dedicated to your well-being. I explore ways spirituality, psychology, and ethics lead to a better life. I’d like to share an update on my journey on how a chronic illness has affected me over the past three years.

To hit rewind for a moment, painful lesions appeared on my tongue in August 2022. Topical treatments made no difference. My diet, speech, and even sleep patterns declined with the pain. The diagnosis was leukoplakia, pre-cancerous cells that had brought painful sores across the right side of my tongue. The standard treatment was a partial glossectomy, removing the affected portion of my tongue. My first surgery in February 2024 was only partially successful. I had breakthrough bleeding 10 days later that sent me to the hospital and cost me days of weakness due to blood loss. In the week that followed, the pain from the lesions continued, a clear sign that only some of the leukoplakia had been removed.

In late 2024 my physician son, Drew, made the recommendation I go to the world-renowned cancer center, M.D. Anderson in Houston. I began work with them in January 2025, leading to the moment I was wheeled into the operating room for a second surgery on my tongue.

I knew I could trust the surgeon, Dr. Jeff Meyers, as he had a proven track record of a world-class specialist for head and neck surgery with years of work at M.D Anderson. The team in the OR obviously knew their stuff as they prepared me, answering with a laugh my question whether they had ever done this before. The anesthesiologist asked whether my mask was comfortable, but I was in dreamland before I could answer.

While I snoozed, the team stretched out my tongue so Dr. Meyers could work. The doctors examined each section of tissue to make sure the mutated pre-cancer cells were removed. When all the diseased area excised, Dr. Meyers used a recently developed synthetic skin graft to cover the wound. 

Jan and Lauren sat with me in a patient room as I returned to real life, recovering my bearings for an overnight stay to make sure all was well. Their presence meant everything as they took care of my needs and communicated with friends and family. After one night in the hospital and another in the nearby Rotary House, it was time to head home. The pain stayed surprisingly low. Jan compared this surgery with the one last year at the local hospital as modern medicine versus the country doctor of 19th century wild, wild West!

However, on the third day, the pain hit like a truck. This revealed the inadequate pain management from the surgeon’s office, forcing Jan and my physician son Drew to create a multi-medicine plan that would keep the pain at a tolerable level. Five days after the surgery, the graft came off as expected, forcing the pain level up three notches. 

The good news arrived with the pathology report. The surgery had removed all of the “moderate hyperkeratotic dysplasia,” (meaning the pre-cancerous cells)! I lost a good chunk of my tongue, yet that seemed acceptable if the danger of cancer was gone. I felt grateful to learn the tongue muscle remained intact and could return to normal action with training!

With careful management of the pain pills by my #1 nurse, Jan, and her carefully prepared soft diet, I improved. In a few weeks, amazingly, the painful sores were gone, leaving my mouth pain-free for the first time in nearly three years!

I have reflected many times on the fact that, out of 8 billion people on the planet, I could find—and afford with insurance—the first-class medical care. Did I deserve some divine favor? Absolutely not. I was the beneficiary of many random events, for example, conception by a wonderful white couple living in the USA, a personality that pushed me forward, opportunities for education, work that gave financial provision, and much more. In addition, a network of family and friends supported me, and even more—the work of the ever-active God was revealed.

Process-Relational theology holds that God connects with every entity to offer an “aim” while the choices are being made. In every moment, the Spirit lures us in love to make the best available choice. The list where God had worked around me is long: parents making loving choices across much of my lifetime, dedicated medical researchers and professionals striving for better treatment, faithful prayers collaborating with the Spirit, loving emotional companionship from family, and more. I am a living example of God’s all-encompassing mercy that is “new every morning!”

I did nothing to earn these mercies. God’s essential and foundational nature is love which extends to all entities in the universe. This non-coercive love doesn’t manipulate the cells of my body or my choices of healthcare. I am free to follow the influence of the Spirit or not. The consequences are mine and those around me. What the Bible shows is that God is continually learning and working with even my bad choices to draw me towards the best. In collaboration we can create a future that moves toward shalom.

One way I can collaborate with God’s aim and mercy emerged in the first follow up visits when I met Dr Carly Barbon, a speech pathologist. She tested my speech patterns which had been greatly affected by the loss of so much tongue tissue. She gave me exercises for my tongue and speech. She made it plain, with a faint echo of how God works, that the future was up to me and how diligently I would do my assignment. I had just been enrolled in tongue school!

My most recent follow up brought real encouragement with no signs of the leukoplakia. Though my tongue had been without any pain for several weeks, I felt thrilled to have that confirmation of success against this chronic illness. Even more, Dr. Barbon gave my an “A” grade on my tongue school work! My enunciation had improved quite a bit. She rewarded me with more exercises as an advanced tongue school student!  

The modern world with advanced medical care and lifestyle comforts is a product of God’s wisdom embodied in human labor. Science and technology have brought more health benefits to billions than at any time in history. But there is no guarantee for this to continue. Retrogressive, anti-science policies can turn back progress. There is nothing of God’s love in ideologies which stop research, penalize practitioners, restrict funding, and even withdraw lifesaving programs from millions of needy people. As one who has benefited personally and in my immediate family from high quality healthcare, I must be an advocate for more research, more care, and expanded access for all. I hope you’ll join me as a part of God’s work to bring well-being to many.