How Giving Gives Happiness

Everyone wants happiness. But what if we are missing a key ingredient? Altruism is proven to bring well-being. So let’s be intentional! In this episode, I explore the evidence that giving to help others changes our body and mindset. Choosing these acts on a regular basis may be the ingredient that moves our happiness to a new level.

Segments include:

The hope of happiness

Finding the missing ingredient of altruism

Jesus points the way

Choosing Intentional Altruism

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Chapters

• 1:53 The hope of happiness
• 3:13 Finding the missing ingredient of altruism
• 4:28 Jesus points the way
• 6:01 Choosing Intentional Altruism

Transcript

More than a quarter of a million sick children in Lubbock County, Texas received medical care in the past 50 years--for free. In an era of rising medical costs, how can this take place? Volunteers are the secret. Hundreds of people have given time and energy with no remuneration to help the kids at the Sick Children’s Clinic. But there is a payback for these workers: emotional well-being. Studies show that helping others is a foundation for a happy life.

I’m Larry Payne, your host of Tracks for the Journey, a network dedicated to your well-being. Let’s explore the subject of how we attain happiness. All of us want to be happy. Yet it can be elusive. The topic has been the object of theories and experiments for centuries. Modern, evidence-based research has now established a fact that is vital for each of us. Doing things to help others is a proven path to a happy life.

Over the years lots of emphasis has been given to finding self-fulfillment. Ideas like achieving your bucket list of experiences, building a standout resume, having a body that is buff or beautiful, and getting that six-figure income are steps on the path of the good life. None of these are bad, really, but many have found this path has something missing. The intense focus on actions that center around the individual self doesn’t fulfill the heights of lasting happiness that were promised.

A cautionary story was told by the disciples of Jesus about a man of wealth and privilege. He came with a question about being right with God in the afterlife. The man’s family wealth had no doubt come from the labor of the peasant class or slaves. He had everything that world could offer in luxury and status. But something was lacking that brought him to the wandering rabbi from Galilee.[1] Our searching today could be an echo of this same hunger, an inherent need to have more than the finest food and wine, latest gadget, or hottest love affair. 

The missing ingredient many are seeking may be revealed by modern research. It is the act of helping others. When we are motivated by compassion to care for someone  we change our own happiness level. Psychologists call this altruism, which is any act that improves another person's well-being without benefiting the actor.[2] Examples are the donation of money to a charitable cause or offering a seat to an older person. The act is done from genuine concern to help the other person. Data collected from 1.4 million people across 161 countries showed that people who acted altruistically had higher life satisfaction and improved daily affect. According to the World Happiness Report 2023, “Altruistic actors report higher life satisfaction, fewer symptoms of depression, and higher job satisfaction that lasts up to two months after helping others.”  In other words, when I help you, it helps me feel better about myself and life in general.

Returning to the encounter of the wealthy young man and Jesus, Jesus brings the focus to his daily life, not the afterlife. He is challenged to give away his fortune to benefit those who are needy. The man is shocked and unwilling to make such a drastic altruistic move. He leaves sad, refusing the prescription to well-being offered by the peasant rabbi, Jesus. In doing so, the young aristocrat experiences a far greater loss of emotional and spiritual well-being than giving away any material possession.

A few months ago, CBS reporter featured the Secret Santa Club of a Phoenix elementary school. With the leadership of their teacher, Derek Brown, they raised $8000, just to give it away to random people in the community. They found old and young, some at the end of their rope, and presented them with a 100 dollar bill. The response was always deep gratitude. But the response in the hearts of the generous students was the most important outcome. One said, “You get so many feelings in your body it makes you want to do it again. I never felt this way in my life.” This gifted teacher and the hard-working students had taken a step toward real happiness.[3]

With all the benefits of altruism, proven by millions of people, it’s important to take a personal inventory. How many times have we taken action to help others, outside of our family? What types of action have we taken, to give, or volunteer, or offer support in an emotional crisis?

Let me propose the idea of intentional altruism. More than doing a random act of kindness, intentional altruism is making a choice to regularly act with the other person’s well-being in mind. It could be shown in volunteering to help kids or walking across the street to check on an elderly neighbor. It might be making an anonymous donation for a family recovering from a natural disaster. The challenge is the intentionality. Rather than waiting for a rare, spontaneous moment, we can make a plan and engage deliberately. Altruism can become a lifestyle that changes our mood and perspective. When we deliberately act for the benefit of the other person, we will grow larger in our own soul.

This is the essence of the teaching and life of Jesus. For years he gave his time, wisdom, and action to care for others. We can think of the schizophrenic man wandering in a cemetery, a rich man losing his identity to feed his greed, or the shunned leper needing the touch of love. His life was the pinnacle of God’s love. His teaching was clear, “I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain, but if it dies it bears much fruit.”[4]

My first experience of direct altruism was supporting my fiancé as she visited to a nursing home. She had been with a church group that went weekly to the rundown facility to sing, visit, and share some baked goods. Jan continued after the project was over, developing relationships with Dan Phillippe, Henrietta, and others. She dragged me along to take a treat and visit for awhile. I learned a lot about this special woman I would marry and also about how reaching out to others could bring a new perspective. Months later, some of those special friends would attend our wedding, closing the loop of altruism back to our own joy. 

Well-being comes from many factors. Don’t overlook the power of forgetting self to take action that will help others. Let’s start a pattern of intentional altruism, losing our self-interest for a time to give to someone else. As the little student in Phoenix said, you may get a feeling all over you body that makes you want to do it again.

Thanks for sharing this episode of Tracks for the Journey. Please take a moment to subscribe to this channel and to my weekly newsletter. You can find the link at www.tracksforthejourney.com

Keep moving on your journey to well-being!

[1] Luke 18:18-30
[2] Shawn Rhodes and Abigail Marsh, “Doing Good and Feeling Good: Relationships Between Altruism and Well-being for Altruists, Beneficiaries, and Observers,” World Happiness Report 2023. https://worldhappiness.report/ed/2023/doing-good-and-feeling-good-relationships-between-altruism-and-well-being-for-altruists-beneficiaries-and-observers/

[3] Steve Hartman, “A mysterious Secret Santa motivated students.” CBS News, 2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epReS4Db_ew
[4] John 12:24 NRSVUE